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the Thinker
Monday, February 28, 2005
Discovering a friend
People think I am a highly cynical person in most of the matters in life. They are wrong! I am not only cynical but also pessimistic about certain things. Judging people is one area where I often go wrong. Therefore it often makes me sceptical when I find that people do not turn out the way I had expected them to.
I know many of you shall not agree with me but there have been experiences in my life which have forced me to modify my opinion about the people around me. I would definitely not deny that good people are there. Infact there are people I know, who are genuine and good to a degree, that you can never imagine in today's world. In my previous post I spoke about one my my dearest friends, Varshu. She is a gem of a person. If she makes friends with someone, its forever.
But I also know of people in my past, who call themselves friends just for the sake of it. I might sound very sentimental but then to me friendship is a very important relationship and something which you can cannot take for granted.
I shall narrate one incident in my life which probably shall explain my perception of friendship better. My father shifted to Kolkata when I was 12 years of age. I had just completed my studies till sixth standard in Gujarat and papa decided to quit his job in Gujarat and move to Kolkata, where he had taken up a new job.
Among certain things, that worry most of our parents, when they shift to a new region, is the kind of accomodation they can find and the kind of jobs they will have. But perhaps the most important concern for a person is to get his/her children admitted to a good school in whichever city one is shifting to(this is only if you have a family and a schoolgoing child).
In my case, my parents were no less worried. However, their prayers were answered (along with mine) and I got admitted to one of the 'good' schools in the city. My first day in school was an experience that is worth remembering. I wore this pink frock (like kids, but thats how my mother dressed me up) as my uniform was not ready yet. When I entered my class, the entire first bench people jumped out of their seats and asked in chorus, "What is your name?" I was slightly amazed at the way they managed to produce that orchestral effect by asking one single question all together. After a brief pause, I answered "Amrita, Amrita Sarkar." Thank god it was an all girls school, had there been boys who would have jumped out of their seats I could not have answered their question.
The teacher had not arrived yet. I walked in confused as the other students buzzed among themselves about my brief introduction with them. Suddenly I heard a voice from somewhere at the back of the class. "You there." A girl with blunt cut hair was calling me and waving me to come towards her.
I went and noticed another girl sitting by her side. The girl had brown curly hair, a very fair complexion and thick glasses on her face. She looked at me and smiled. The girl with blunt cut hair introduced herself as Sushmita and introduced the other girl with curly hair as Sweta.
Sushmita behaved in a very friendly manner with me from day one and declared me her best friend on the very first day she met me. She told me that Sweta was from Korea and therefore she had a strange superiority complex and stuff. I did not speak to Sweta much in the beginning. But I could not believe that she is a snob. She was quiet and did not speak to me much.
Sushmita started to change over a period of time and soon I began to realize that what she said was not what she meant. We had to participate in this programme called 'Spectrum' which our school organised after every four years. Unfortunately, the year when I joined was the year when 'Spectrum' was to be held and we all had to participate in the programme compulsorily.
This meant going out every day, in scorching heat in the fields and for hours do the stupid steps your trainers ask you to do. Sweta was in the row parallel to mine, so we often used to chat. For the first time in my life I realised that how wrong we can be in judging people.
Sweta was actually a chatterbox, a very cute chatterbox. She kept my spirits up throughout the entire drudging regime of 'Spectrum' practice. Whereas Sushmita started to drift apart from me. She remembered me when she needed to take notes. Sweta was different. Slowly Sushmita and I saw less of each other and finally we drifted apart.
On the other hand Sweta and I became closer to each other. She knew all the stupid kind of jokes and I laughed on all of them. One day Sushmita and I had a fight, I don't remember regarding what, but we had a fight which terminated our friendship.
The day when our 'Spectrum' got over, I and Sweta were returning together in our school bus. The bus was packed students who were screaming with joy at the end of their daily tasking schedule. We were discussing about our families. Suddenly, she asked me whether I had a best friend. I said no(Sushmita was the not the kind whom you can call a 'best friend'). Then I asked her the same question.
She said "yes." I asked her,"Whats her name?" Sweta smiled at me and said "Its you." We both laughed and were really happy to have each other as friends.Its been eight years now since I know Sweta. She is still my best friend.
Its a relief that, I have friends like Varshu and Sweta. Having friends like them gives me a feel that good people are rare to find but when you find them they stay with you forever.
I would end on an optimistic note, which is quite a refreshing change to my pessimistic image. I generally make very few friends. But all of them are the best people in my life, people I am blessed with.
I know many of you shall not agree with me but there have been experiences in my life which have forced me to modify my opinion about the people around me. I would definitely not deny that good people are there. Infact there are people I know, who are genuine and good to a degree, that you can never imagine in today's world. In my previous post I spoke about one my my dearest friends, Varshu. She is a gem of a person. If she makes friends with someone, its forever.
But I also know of people in my past, who call themselves friends just for the sake of it. I might sound very sentimental but then to me friendship is a very important relationship and something which you can cannot take for granted.
I shall narrate one incident in my life which probably shall explain my perception of friendship better. My father shifted to Kolkata when I was 12 years of age. I had just completed my studies till sixth standard in Gujarat and papa decided to quit his job in Gujarat and move to Kolkata, where he had taken up a new job.
Among certain things, that worry most of our parents, when they shift to a new region, is the kind of accomodation they can find and the kind of jobs they will have. But perhaps the most important concern for a person is to get his/her children admitted to a good school in whichever city one is shifting to(this is only if you have a family and a schoolgoing child).
In my case, my parents were no less worried. However, their prayers were answered (along with mine) and I got admitted to one of the 'good' schools in the city. My first day in school was an experience that is worth remembering. I wore this pink frock (like kids, but thats how my mother dressed me up) as my uniform was not ready yet. When I entered my class, the entire first bench people jumped out of their seats and asked in chorus, "What is your name?" I was slightly amazed at the way they managed to produce that orchestral effect by asking one single question all together. After a brief pause, I answered "Amrita, Amrita Sarkar." Thank god it was an all girls school, had there been boys who would have jumped out of their seats I could not have answered their question.
The teacher had not arrived yet. I walked in confused as the other students buzzed among themselves about my brief introduction with them. Suddenly I heard a voice from somewhere at the back of the class. "You there." A girl with blunt cut hair was calling me and waving me to come towards her.
I went and noticed another girl sitting by her side. The girl had brown curly hair, a very fair complexion and thick glasses on her face. She looked at me and smiled. The girl with blunt cut hair introduced herself as Sushmita and introduced the other girl with curly hair as Sweta.
Sushmita behaved in a very friendly manner with me from day one and declared me her best friend on the very first day she met me. She told me that Sweta was from Korea and therefore she had a strange superiority complex and stuff. I did not speak to Sweta much in the beginning. But I could not believe that she is a snob. She was quiet and did not speak to me much.
Sushmita started to change over a period of time and soon I began to realize that what she said was not what she meant. We had to participate in this programme called 'Spectrum' which our school organised after every four years. Unfortunately, the year when I joined was the year when 'Spectrum' was to be held and we all had to participate in the programme compulsorily.
This meant going out every day, in scorching heat in the fields and for hours do the stupid steps your trainers ask you to do. Sweta was in the row parallel to mine, so we often used to chat. For the first time in my life I realised that how wrong we can be in judging people.
Sweta was actually a chatterbox, a very cute chatterbox. She kept my spirits up throughout the entire drudging regime of 'Spectrum' practice. Whereas Sushmita started to drift apart from me. She remembered me when she needed to take notes. Sweta was different. Slowly Sushmita and I saw less of each other and finally we drifted apart.
On the other hand Sweta and I became closer to each other. She knew all the stupid kind of jokes and I laughed on all of them. One day Sushmita and I had a fight, I don't remember regarding what, but we had a fight which terminated our friendship.
The day when our 'Spectrum' got over, I and Sweta were returning together in our school bus. The bus was packed students who were screaming with joy at the end of their daily tasking schedule. We were discussing about our families. Suddenly, she asked me whether I had a best friend. I said no(Sushmita was the not the kind whom you can call a 'best friend'). Then I asked her the same question.
She said "yes." I asked her,"Whats her name?" Sweta smiled at me and said "Its you." We both laughed and were really happy to have each other as friends.Its been eight years now since I know Sweta. She is still my best friend.
Its a relief that, I have friends like Varshu and Sweta. Having friends like them gives me a feel that good people are rare to find but when you find them they stay with you forever.
I would end on an optimistic note, which is quite a refreshing change to my pessimistic image. I generally make very few friends. But all of them are the best people in my life, people I am blessed with.
Posted by Amrita at 3:31 AM 
I write once in a while, so whenever I write I pour my heart out. That answers for the length of my posts.
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Sentimental! You sound like an eighth std girl telling someone abt her friendship story:)
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I guess I am trying to address the child in me. Moreover none of can survive without good friends.
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Dear Varshu,
As always you boost up my spirits in all situations. Rightly you are the best teacher I have ever had so far. Knowing my experiences with teachers you know what I mean. Thanks dear, I now people as good,bad and mixed. No exceptions.Thanks Varshu
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