the Thinker

“Tonight there is a business party, it would be good if you could come with me,” said Sandeep in his usual dispassionate manner. Anjali was used to that tone by now. For him everything was as simple as business. Either it is correct or incorrect, if its not plus, has to be minus, or maybe multiplication or division.

She could not imagine how could she have spent six years of her life with a person who has an utmost clinical temperament. This was not what she wanted. Still now she could not forget those warm sincere eyes, which looked at her and told her that nothing could be wrong with her and that anyone would like her.

She longed to see him once more, just once more! She did not even know where he was now. Six years back, that night when she kept dialing his number frantically, he never answered it.
She went to his home early next morning only to discover a big metallic lock hanging on his front door. He lived alone, she knew that.

“Are you here for Shekhar?” someone had asked her from behind.
She looked at a lady, who peeked her head from a door opposite to Shekhar’s main door, which was now locked to her.

“Yes, could you please tell me where he is? I mean, if you know,” she remembered how she checked her voice, but it gave out the absolute desperation, she was experiencing.

“He left this place, he cleared up his rent and left,” the lady answered.

“Where…do you know?” she asked, even more anxiously.

“No,” the lady answered squarely. But, while answering, she never realized how it would impact her (Anjali). After the lady closed her door on Anjali, she stood there for nearly half an hour, thinking, where could she find him.

She had called up Neha, who was their common friend.

“Hello?”

“Yeah, Neha?”

“Yes, speaking.”

“Do you… do you know where Shekhar is?”

“Shekhar? Why he left this morning for US.”

“US? Why?”

“He got a job there, didn’t he tell you?…. Hello, Hello, are you there?”

“Y..Yeah! I am here, thanks for telling me. So..he won’t come back, is it?” She dreaded to ask the question, as she had already guessed the answer in advance. But still, some little part within her still held a hope that she might hear, something she wanted to hear.

“I don’t know yaar.” The conversation had ended. But Anjali kept standing there for a long time not knowing where to go.

The car stopped with a jerk.

“Are you okay? I mean are you feeling ill or something?” asked Sandeep. Anjali looked at him, dazed for a moment. She never realized when she had slipped into a reverie.

“Ye, yes, I am fine…have we reached?” she asked hesitantly.

“Of course, we have and we are late for the party. I wonder what boss shall think,” said Sandeep impatiently as he parked the car.

The party was being held in a banquet hall of some big hotel. Anjali lost count of the number of people her husband introduced her to and the number of times she exchanged courtesies with each of them.

“Anjali, come I shall introduce you to someone, he has come India to finalize talks about our new joint venture on behalf of his company,” said Sandeep in a hurried manner.

“Sandeep, I am really tired. Could we please leave?” she asked in a wearied tone.

“Of course we will, just after meeting him,” he said.

“What good would it be to your company if I meet him?” she asked, slightly irritated.

“No dear, you don’t understand, its normal courtesy,” he said trying to convince her.

‘Courtesy!’ That word was getting on her nerves now. She looked for a moment at her husband’s face. He seemed so impatient, as if he were ready to beg if she didn’t oblige to his necessity at this moment. But then, she felt strangely triumphant at being able to be of some level of importance from him.

For that fragile moment she experienced some kind of a strange, vicarious pleasure at being able to command his attention for some time.

“Ok, come, but after this we shall leave,” she said firmly.

Her triumph and sense of pride crinkled when she saw the person her husband was so insistent on meeting. A surfeit of emotions emerged transparently on her face – that of pain, fear, confusion, anger and others that she could not explain.
The man looked at her with equal amount of awe.

“This is Mr.Shekhar, he works for …, ” Sandeep went on elaborating on his (Shekhar’s) company, its background, how enterprising it was, and such other details. Anjali had closed her ears to whatever her husband went on saying and kept looking at the person standing in front of her. Everything else around seemed immaterial.

Within her aroused a burning desire to question him, where was he all this while, why did he not inform her that he was leaving. Most of all she wanted to ask him whether he has ever shared even one bit of the agony and desperation she underwent the past six years.

“Anjali, Anjali?”

Her thoughts were interrupted. She looked at her husband, who was in turn staring at her with a pair of confused and curious eyes.

“Anjali, Mr.Shekhar has extended his hand to you,” said Sandeep.

“Hello, Mrs. Verma,” said Shekhar in a subdued tone.

“Hello,” said Anjali. “Can we leave now?” she looked at Sandeep and asked. Somehow her entire tone and face had changed. She never sounded so resolute, so intolerant…so hurt.

Throughout the past six years, Sandeep had never really realized what kind of a woman he has married. He never had any eye for analysis. The only ‘fact’ that was evident to him was, that she was one of the most absent-minded women he had ever been with, who would sometimes get restless without any proper reason.

But, he never could comprehend the cause behind her being so. The only way he explained it to himself was that all individuals are not endowed with similar mental aptitudes.
Though it occurred to him at times that perhaps he should make an attempt to understand her better, that moment of realization was always got lost behind the files, folders and projects that he was assigned in his office.

Throughout their way back home, Anjali as usual did not speak any word to him. But this time, for the first time her attitude got him thinking. Most of the time whenever, he tried to deduce a possible explanation about any problem, he always had depended on the facts available to him.
This time it was difficult as most of the problems he had dealt with so far were strictly based on figures and facts, not some kind of an unknown emotional, well for him a psychological crisis, if the problem has to be viewed from the academic point of view.

He sneaked a glance through the corner of his eye, with his hands on the steering of his vehicle. Anjali was looking out of the window, thinking about something, God knows what.
That night he laid thinking on bed, assembling all the possible ‘facts’ that could possibly lead to a sound justification of Anjali’s strange behaviour at the party, in the evening. Could it be his insistence on her meeting all his business associates? But then she was all well before he …Oh no! could it be….?

“But, why should she take exceptions to Mr.Shekhar?” He kept thinking confused, without being conscious that the whole night Anjali wept, and covered her face with her pillow.
The next morning before leaving for the office he looked at her. Her eyes appeared red.

“Did she not sleep last night, or maybe…?” he wondered.

“Anjali, I am leaving for office,” he started to move, paused for a second as if wanted to ask her something. But somehow he could not bring himself to ask anything. He opened the door to leave.

“Sandeep, we need to talk,” she spoke at last.

He looked at her surprised. Slowly he walked to her, took a chair and sat down. She paused for a moment and started to speak.

“The fellow you introduced me to last night at the party, Shekhar, I have known him before we got married. He lived near my place. I came to now him through a common friend. He was a great friend of mine. He supported me at times when no one was ready to. My family never encouraged me so much as much as he did. When I got a job…, ” she paused and looked at Sandeep. She could not read the expression on his face, but she presumed that it was a mix of confusion and bewilderment.

“I had started liking him more than I liked any man. That was the time when my parents told about you. They were eager to get me married to you. I was not able to tell them about him because they would have never listened to me. I tried to tell him, what I had always felt for him, but he could never learn. He left the country before I could reveal to him what I had felt for him,” she paused again, this time she did not look up to him.

“Yesterday, when you introduced me to him all over again, at first I could not understand what to say to him. But then I didn’t have to say anything, I read it all on his face. His eyes told me what I wanted to hear from him six years back. But now its of no use, had he said it then…,” she refrained from finishing her sentence. Suddenly she felt very exhausted, as if she had accomplished a strenuous task. She stood up and started to walk away. She paused for one last time. Without looking at him she said,

“I said all this to you, because you wouldn’t have ever asked,” She walked away leaving him speechless.

<--“I said all this to you, because you wouldn’t have ever asked,” She walked away leaving him speechless.--> Why do I seem to like conclusions in your posts, these days? :). Somehow, they convey the essence of it all! Good job Amrita! :)  

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thanks anu, that's exactly what it intended to do.  

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“I said all this to you, because you wouldn’t have ever asked,” - this statement was the best. Just loved it.  

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thanks art, i guess that statement sums it up all.  

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Enjoyed it immensly! .. to the core :)  

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thanks snehal, glad u liked it!  

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ohh .. Why sad ending for our girl? Nice twist though! Liked the story.  

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hey amrita,
y not write a different story, telling us what happened to shekhar all these years.......  

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sorry sriram, could not think of a possible happy ending for the story. anyway, thanks for your response  

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haha, nice thought art, but i guess i have exhausted myself behind this story, why don't u attempt that - u might do justice to Shekhar!  

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Well... I can only try, but justice only u can do :)  

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Good story, nice narration.

Oops! I forgot to mention. I am first timer to this blog. I just chanced on this via another site.

Apart from the story, some of the incidents I hear, read has made me believe that being frank, open and honest makes lives easy for not only you but a whole lot of people.  

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Well... Well.... a gr8 ending. the key underlying message, i suppose, would be frankness and honesty in relationships. Shekhar failed to realise ... She realises and is frank to her husband... hope her husband realises and turns over a new leaf..  

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Hi art, Don't u think justice has been done?.i never intended to make this story close ended because i personally believe that people should exercise their own imagination to define their parameters of what an ending should be like. I leave it open-ended most of the time so that people can decide what could/ should happen after this. I agree with what u say but then we all have our own definition of justice...ur definition may not be similar to what I or someone else thinks..but u could always explain ur definition in ur work!

Hi Ramesh, welcome to my blog! i agree that honesty pays off well - but it would be more convenient if u could explain whether u believed that I was honest in my other posts, or u want me to be more honest?

hi avinash- thanks for ur response! i amglad u liked the ending. I don't know waht shall happen after this..as i told art everyone has hisor her own right to decide what course would future take. You are free to think as u want. Cheers!  

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hi rangakrishnan! well i guess honesty is in everyone's mind!  

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Tat was well narrated..Usually when i see a long post, i decline to read it...but this one was kewl..reading each line only urged me to read more...as i sed..wonder ful narration..

BTW what was Sandeep's reaction to all this...  

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thanks for that compliment, i left Sandeep's reaction to that...what do u think he would have done after that?  

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i think Sandeep would have thought for a while[anybody would after getting such a statement :)]
If he was insensitive, he wouldnt have understood what Anjali actually meant.
But if otherwise, then he would actually go n talk to Anjali about her feelings atleast now...  

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Hi Art, see u are exercising ur perception...that's exactly what i wanted..what u said could be a possible conclusion.

Hmm...i am glad virumandi that u have brought to light such a different view point. and u don't have to be sorry...if u disagree and are presenting a certain viewpoint then that's purely the way u perceive the story, well, u r right in ur own way, what i have tried to project is that sandeep is far more mechanical...in his thinking. as far as anjali is concerned, i let her have a life o f her own..true she could not admit to shekhar..but then shekhar too decided to keep it to himself.so these are various perspectives that comeinto the limelight. i personally feel both anjali and shekhar should have responded faster...which is why in the story there is a part in the ist half where she feels that she should hurry. but then she did not and if she could not win his love, somewhere she is also at fault.whether sandeep and anjali moved on or not u decide. i have not implicated any definite conclusion - i never said whether they moved on or not.  

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Good work, Amrita!
You surprised me both with Shekhar being at that business convention and with that last line on Anjali's lips...
I hope you have more short stories coming!
:)  

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Hi avinash...pl don't think that u r dumb r something infact u have asked the question i was expecting for a long time...but then no one asked it...the story is referred to as 'The lines,' because..no, not because of the last line. Lines basically represent a kind of limitation..a certain stricture.. to me they symbolize a demarcation of a certain kind. In the story the all the protagonists are bound by certain restrictions, consciously or unconsciously. For Anjali, it is not only the familial restrictions that bind her but also herown inner inhibitions..which she overcomes in the end by confessing. For Shekhar too it is his inability to confess his love..his inner constraints that draw the line for him. For Sandeep, it is his very temperament, extreme rationality that act as a line fpor him...u shall find him thinking on a set pattern, or to put it more precisely he has his own distinct 'line' of thought. Which is why he never asked as he thinks that everything must be having a logical explanation...he gets confused when he sees something different from factual reality.  

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aha gonsings! u never seem to be short of encouraging comments...if i keep getting such comments i promise, more stories will pile up on my site.  

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Interesting! Similar to my short-story blog, do take a look sometime, here is the link!  

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hi virumandi, i guess u will have to wait for quite sometime for the next story.

I visited ur link rs, cool yaar, must say u r a hard core writer  

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Wow... really neat. I am sorry I come in late...
Very well told story. I liked it. Reminds me of Dubliners though... Was that your inspiration? :-)  

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hi eroteme, good to see u again, hmm, dubliners..which story are u referring to..but i have to say..joyce idea of romance enthralls me a lot.  

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Woww. well written.  

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Silly me. Forgot to mention the story. "The Dead". Read it?  

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Thinker, are you writing another script.!

Please don't make us wait.! I miss your post.!  

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hi potpouri, welcome to my blog!

thanks eroteme, i will definitely read that story.

narayanan, what a pleasure to see u !! i am working on the next one, this time a different story.  

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That's gr8.... already waiting for the next one :)  

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touche...  

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Beautiful! I have become addicted to your writings I should say... I feel the ending couldnot have been better than this:) Good one, Amrita  

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