the Thinker

She could not even realize that her first year in college was nearing its end. Throughout, all these months, she had fallen in love with the place.

She always knew about her fascination regarding old and archaic things...whether it is buildings or paintings.

However, she could never forget her first day in college…her tripping off the broad wooden steps, and then he came and extended his hand to her.

“Are you alright?” His words rang in her ears till now. It followed her whenever she was in distress.

“Vikas? Vikas what? What is his surname? There are 4 Vikas’ in our class,” her senior told her, when she had asked timidly, whether anyone called Vikas studied in her class.

She sneaked during the college fest and managed to take a look at all the Vikas.’ “No, that’s not him. Where is he?” she thought desperately.

“Look dear, it is very difficult to find your prince charming now in such a huge engineering college campus, anyways, why do you want to meet him now?” her friend enquired her.

She did not have any answer for that question. Why should she be looking for him now? She didn’t know. After that day she had tried tracing him innumerable times in the college campus, but could never catch another glimpse of him.

“So strange! How could a man so suddenly disappear… as if he never existed? How could he have disappeared after extending his hand to her so helpfully, at least he could have come back once more just to see whether she has found the classroom or not, which he had pointed to her.

“Fool! Have you gone mad?” Her brains rattled and intervened the string of tender thoughts crossing her heart.

As college life was nearing an end, she felt a heavy burden weigh upon her heart; she would miss this place so much! In his absence, she used to sit under those big shady trees in the campus and do her Practical assignments.

However, never could she once concentrate on the assignments for a long stretch. Whenever she tried to do so, a thought would sneak its way through those complicated formulas prescribed in her textbook. The thought of him smiling and looking at her, with his hands extended towards her.

On the day of the farewell, she was sitting quietly at one corner looking at the people around her. Everyone was laughing, joking…they were all so happy! Why couldn’t she mingle with this crowd? As always, she never knew the answer to this.

She looked around, bored. Her eyes traveled from one corner of the hall to another. Suddenly! A face very familiar to her pierced her wearied attention. She stood up and moved forward, gradually pushing the sea of people who were obstructing her way.

As she moved forward, the voice also sounded familiar. Yes, it was the same voice, which had so gently asked her, “Are you alright?”

A sudden shiver ran down from her neck right to the end of her spine. She felt a funny excitement in her stomach as if someone was tickling her tissues from inside. She could feel the same sensation which she had felt that day, that of her palms sweating out of tension.

She could associate all these vibrations to only one thing. “HIM! It was him!” Her mind jumped with joy.

He had his back towards her, chatting with a friend of his. At first, he could not realize how close she was standing, just behind him. But then suddenly, he felt uncomfortable, as if he’s being watched.

He turned around, she tried to smile. He looked at her, bewildered.

“Er! Hi there,” he said hesitantly. “Do I know you?” he asked.

“I…um, err..I am, I mean..I , I ..,” she made vain attempts. What was happening? Why couldn’t she say something, she had waited for this day so long. “What kind of an idiot am I?” she thought.

“Yes?” He appeared even more perplexed.

“I..I..I found class room 15 that day,” she blurted.

At first he appeared confused and stupefied, then his features started easing up, his facial muscles slowly resumed to their normal state and a thin smile crept on his lips.

“Oh! Yes, now I remember, so you found the class? I was..,” he started to speak but at that moment, he felt a hand on his shoulders.

“God Vikas! You made me wait so long, I was waiting near the car for you to come, and you told me you would come in 5 minutes!” It was the same girl whom she had seen that day, the same features, tall, slim, dressed in a tight body hugging dress. This time her hair was dyed golden.

“Yes, I was about to come, but…,”

“Oh come on now! Lets hurry. You promised me we would go for a dinner at Taj, then you promised to take me to the nightclub,” she said obstinately.

“Yes, doll! I remember, I was just having a smoke with a friend,” he replied irritated.

“But, what took you so long?” the girl cried.

“My friend told me about this nice new pub nearby,” he said.

“What are we waiting for, come let’s go!” she said eagerly.

“Doll, nightclub, smoke, pub!” These were not the words she identified him with. Whenever she had thought about him over the past four years, she only thought about his gentle voice telling her where classroom 15 is…and his beaming face with that reassuring smile on it.

“Something was wrong, this couldn’t be that man!” She thought. This man sounds so different, so strange…so alien!”

She never realized when the other girl had dragged him along with her. She returned back to the corner where she was sitting quietly, before she had spotted him.

She felt something strange within her. She could nowhere relate this feeling to the one; she felt when she saw for the first time. Silently, she moved of the hall. The noises in the hall behind her started to fade away in the air, as she moved farther away from it.

As the distances between her and the building increased, she was haunted with several thoughts. Some of them were old ones, which had preoccupied her mind after she met him. Others, that were formed recently…one’s which left within her a strange hollow, disillusionment.

She stopped and turned around to take a last look at her college building. Hot tears rolled down her cheek. Somehow, she always knew, this was the place for her. Its dark rooms and antiquated surroundings had always sheltered her thoughts…comforted them, nourished them.

But the people? They were never hers. “They never can be mine,” she thought as she walked away from the place.

Pretty good Amrita... But is the heroine of ur story never gonna meet her Vikas again. Does she still think of him???
But seriously she would have been cursing the girl with Vikas, she never let them have a complete conversation :)  

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haha! seems u are in for happy endings..i don't know myself arathi..whether she would meet him again or not..even if she meets him would she ever be able to respond to him as she did before? waht do u think?  

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Well not exactly happy endings. But i just felt that atleast she should have a chance to talk to the guy whom she has been thinking of for 4 years.
She may not be able to respond to him the way she wanted to. But how can 2 people know about each other without interacting :)  

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Aha! you have a point dear...but do all of get that time in life to speak to the person we really admire? I know of people who have loved each other silently for years...without taking ever letting each other know about what they feel. Sometimes the feelings are only one-sided. sometimes it is only a fantasy that people build up in their minds thinking that how nice it could have been ahad the person i liked loved me too, it remains at that only. For all uknow he/she might have settled for an arranged marriage for the rest of his life.I do not definitely deny that people fall in love..some of them live happily ever after but then..'how many?' is the question. anyways, i do not know about your personal life but if u ever intend to choose someone (or maybe u have already), all the best..hope u get loads of time to interact with him.  

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Mumbai is magical city...nd being a fresher tooo...just 2 months....found it very amazing...roamed a lot of places nd also..lots of dramas/shows in week end...nd beautiful crowd..  

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vinodvijapur@yahoo.com  

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Hi Vinod, great to hear u found mumbai good.thanks for dropping by  

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amrita, this looks more like a tamil movie :) just kidding, nice one :)  

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WOW!... I didn't think this sequel would be posted so soon... Great work... Considering the issue here is not only a "girl meets boy" thing, but also a "how girl deals with people around" thing, I believe the story can still be stretched a lot more... I hope you give it a try... I'd love reading a third part!
:)  

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Amrita, i liked the way you ended the story - i am not sure whether I would have appreciated it as much if you had said, they actually started going around together or sth like that..Nice work! :)..(See? I commented..)  

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Hi saranyan, i have never watched any tamil film..especially the romantic variety..even i watch some i am sure i would have required an interpretor..but the kind of ending i gave this story is based on what i saw around me..whether it is based on my actual experience or not is a different issue, but i have seen couples spliting...people who love each other so much, or perhaps only one of them loves the other, but they are not destined to meet.

Hi Gonsings, well, i am afraid i do not wish to stretch the story further...personally i feel this is the way it should end,u r right i am also projecting how she deals with the people around her, but in a way the end marks her transition from a girl to a woman. Its her realization that the way she sees things, are not the way they really are! it marks her maturity as a person.

haha, anu, thanks for your valuable opinion! i am glad to know that u liked the ending, i myself would have found a mills and boon ending very superficial and funny..and as i said there are specific reasons why this story this kind of ending.  

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"the end marks her transition from a girl into a woman"... "it marks her maturity as a person"... ummm.. Can we really say these existential breaks happen in such a clear, straight way in everyday life?
Unless seriously confronted by drastic events, do we ever really reach "maturity", as a completely different state of our personal inner development?... Don't get me wrong... I understand perfectly well the intention behind your story and the reasons to end it at the point you decided... It makes sense and it's obviously a very well closed story... I just keep wondering about some of the things that were also "inside" the story... and I thought I just would share the thoughts...
:)  

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Fantastic.! I felt like reading a novel. People like Vikas ( gender doesn't matter could be a vikasini) do exist. You can't have the cake and eat it to..I think. I've had such experiences as well during my long gone college days.!

Anyways, you are proving that you are a very good writer.!

The thinker can write.!! What a combination.!  

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Hi avinash, thanks for dropping by! haha!i never thought my story would remind people of M &B stories, or any of that kind for that matter...whether u believe or not, i never liked reading M&B stories and never have read them even once in my lifetime. But anyways, if thats what u think!

Hi Gonsings, i could understand what u were trying tosay and agree with u to a certain extent but u see i am trying to bring the realization on a very practical level. I personally believe that realizations do sometimes appear before us in straight forward manner and leave us dumbfound..i mean atleast i have faced several such situations in life...the kind of romance i can identify is more of the Joycian kind of romance, that in 'Araby' where there hebuilts up the mood for a realization to come through..something that is called the moment of 'epiphany.' But anyways u have a point and i definitely cannot disregard it...but what i tried to project is a cesspool of emotions, emotions that have built up over a considerable period of time only to get crushed under reality. It something like the ending in a short story by bates called 'the ox'.


Hi varshu baby, how r u? what do u mean 'pehchana?' i miss u so much! I definitely appreciate the view that u presented..that the characters should have an opportunity to decide their own destiny? But don'tu feel that has already been shown..in the sense that the girl decides her destiny...the point where she meets the person again and hears his words...i feel she decides for herself and and towards the end emerges as a an assertive individual, one who can distinguish her emotions from one another. But, nevertheless, your suggestion is a very good one..since i am into the story writing mould now,my future 'fictional' posts would definitely deal with characters who are far more assertive i assure u.take care.loads of love.

Hi reflex, for now, there won't be a third edition to this story but in future i would definitely like to write many more stories involving different themes.


Narayanan, thanks for ur comments!God! i must say u have placed me on cloud 9! i don't think the story is all that great..it was my first attempt to do such a thing. It could have been much better, but anyways, thanks for ur encouragement. I was glad to know in some manner u could relate it to your college days, would love to hear about ur experiences some day.why don't u write a post on them?  

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This was a nice story. Hope to see lots n lots of them, with different themes.  

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Thats was fantastic, Amrita! You reminded me its high time I grab a book from the library.

Is this story for real? :)  

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Hi Art, Glad to hear u liked the story..i am looking forward to writing more such pieces, i hope u would like them.

Thanks Gayatri, haha! i wonder whether i should be getting so much of credit! was a joke by any chance? hehe!  

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Good one. I could identify with the last line totally. But the people? They were never hers. “They never can be mine,” she thought as she walked away from the place.
Thats true!  

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yeah sriram, though i am the author of the story, i can perfectly identify with that part too, coz i can understand what she feels  

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Thats a nice ending. but why not we go 4 different verse...  

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