the Thinker

The plane was about to land. We were instructed by the pilot to tighten our seat belts. I was waiting desperately for the plane to land. It has been ten months since I left my home and had gone to Chennai to study.

It would be however wrong to say that I did not get a vacation in between. I had come home for a short while in December, but then there was this feeling that I will have to go back again. This time too, I have come for a short while, as very soon I will be leaving for Mumbai. Moreover, this time I do not know the date when I shall return. Because this time I have got a job in Mumbai.

I looked out of the window as the plane gradually slided down to land in the city of joy, Kolkata. It was seven in the evening, and the city from several feets above the earth looked like a star-spangled sky. Some of these stars were twinkling as well.

Suddenly something knocked me inside my head and said, " Wake up! You are not dreaming, this ain't no universe, no star-spangled sky or anything. Those are lights in the buildings, which you consider as stars from the plane. And those twinkling ones are headlights of some car…so stop romanticizing!"

"Okay, Okay." I told myself. My practical side had already started to caution me. As I finally came out of the airport and started back the journey to my home, several thoughts crossed my head. I have repeated this several times, but I am doing so once again. Its comparatively easier, for a person who has stayed all his life away from home, to give in to his practical self.

However, this was the first time when I had moved out of home to Chennai. Therefore, the nostalgia takes over me. It seems as if yesterday I had gone to Chennai to do a ten-month course in journalism. Today I am back home. Soon I would be working as a professional in a firm, being paid for the assignments I would do (something unprecedented).

As I stepped into my sweet little home after ten months, I started praying instantly that this period should never end, that each day extends to 48 hours, that the days should become longer than summer months…so that I get more time to spend in this space, with my loved ones, my family.

Do I sound too senti? can't help…My eyes are actually filled with tears. Just the day before,i.e. was my second last day in Chennai, we had this nasty fight with one of those roguish rick-drivers. The fight had summoned a crowd around us and it was a humiliating experience overall. For a moment I felt sick of Chennai at that point (Sorry, Chennai lovers, but it is not any personal feelings against your city, its just the treatment an outsider gets at times, that stings..).

So today I feel like I have left all that behind, all those horrible experiences seem to be a thing of past. The very air around my house soothed my senses and whispered to them, "its ok, you are home now, you are home now…."
I can already imagine the pain that would take over as soon as I move to Mumbai again. This time there is no fixed date of return to home. Still, I feel like living all my life within this brief span of time..I feel like living an eternity in this few weeks at home.

Thinker,

Interesting post...I can imagine how you feel. I think I've felt the same way several times in the last 10-15 years. You are not alone.!

So, now wipe your tears and look forward to that wonderful future you are going to have.

Bombay is going to be a different Ball game...though I think in the end you'll like it ( I did ).

Good luck and congratulations.

Hi - Remember to eat a lot of Rosogollas before you head to Bombay.!

BTW - Auto rickshaw drivers suck in Madras.  

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Living almost for a decade now a whole ocean apart from my family, believe me I do know how you must feel. Nostalgia is always a hard thing to deal with. And when it's coming to you even before departure, it seems like there's no way to avoid shedding those tears. What can I say, except that I hope you get to enjoy these days at home like some of the best of your life. Bitter-sweetness might be floating in the air, but that means that, despite the eventual sadness, there will be great moments that you will have the chance to cherish and take with you for that new life you'll be facing... Somehow what you say about living these days like an eternety is completely real. As I'm sure that some of these moments at home will be with you forever and will mean a great lot in emotional support when in the face of future adversities... Enjoy life and best of lucks... ;)  

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Hi Narayanan, how are you? You are right, I guess now its time to start things anew.I hope I like Mumbai, I am counting on your opinion on Mumbai, but home is the best place one can stay in. Thanks for yur good wishes.

Hi Gonsings, I am glad that you can understand what I am tried to express in m post. Its indeed very difficult to stay away from ones family for a long time. I am trying my best ot make best use of the time I have at hands right now.

Hi Howdy, Thanks for dropping by. I visited your blog. Nice one..only one thing where do I post my comment?  

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All the very best for ur new job in Mumbai. Mumbai and calcutta is also far :(.  

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Amrita..have tonnes of fun at home!! :) don't forget to listen to "manjal poosum" :))  

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hey amrita, you are not alone. everytime I go home, which is 10,000 miles away, I get the same feeling. life moves on, you defly find something interesting to keep you going.

I've heard a lot about Kolkata's famous K.C Das :) why don't you write something on it, with pics ofcourse :)  

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Amrita, Sorry abt your experience with the auto driver in Chennai.. Whatever be it, don't consider that humiliating.. they are born to behave that way and they are Chennai's bane. Hope your stay at Chennai was peaceful otherwise.

Do enjoy your stay at home.. As Narayanan said, you are not alone. There are hundreds like him & I longing for the comfort of home, but out here for various reasons.

Good luck for your career & don't forget blogging! :)  

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Hi folks,
Being at home already soothes me.

Hi Reflex, thanks for your good wishes. all the best to you too for all your future ventures.

Hi anu, nice look you have given to your blog, its cool. I guess Mo has turned out to be a worthy blog father. I am already enjoying at home. And yes listening to 'manjal poosum', how can i forget?!

Hi Saranyan, thanks for understanding. And yes K.C das- good topic to write on. lets see I will post on it in a few days. But i do not know how to upload pics. can you tell me?

Hi Chakra, I am away from chennai's bane right now so nothing to worry about. Thanks for you good wishes. How are you?  

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hey.. Happy Bengali New year's Day.. (I forgot its name!)  

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Hi Amrita. In here from Narayanan's site. Can't help but agree with him - 90% of auto rickshaw drivers are ruffians in Madras. Even today, I had no choice but to travel in one and in the process, witness rash driving, total lack of concern for fellow passengers, hear him spew abuse at others and cringe at the whole experience! Sigh!  

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Hi Chakra, its called poila Baishak. Happy poila baishak to you too!

Hi ravi,thanks for dropping by. I know, my friends in chennai have often complained about rick drivers. I guess i myself had some of the worst experiences with these people in chennai.  

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